A Kilo of Salt in Serbia

In order to really know someone, you must eat a kilo of salt together.

Serbian Proverb

Milko, a student at the Baptist Theological School (BTS) in Novi Sad, Serbia, shared this proverb during morning devotions. The point being that building relationship takes time.

One of the questions I get asked a lot about TLI has to do with mentoring students. For many US pastors, the mentoring they received during seminary played (and continues to play) an important role in their formation and growth as pastors. How can we do that effectively when we’re only in-country for a short time?

I felt the weight of that question on this trip; it was my first time teaching at BTS and it was a new course for me. Language and culture and a lack of familiarity translated into distance between the students and me. At least initially, they weren’t as responsive in class as I had hoped they would be. Even during mealtimes together, interactions felt forced and awkward.

Then I looked over at Mark, a pastor from Arizona and a TLI volunteer teacher, who was engrossed in conversation with the students at his lunch table. To be fair, this was Mark’s eighth time teaching at BTS. He knew the students and they knew him. Later in the week, the school’s academic dean told me that students saved up questions to ask Mark — not just theological questions but personal issues that they were wrestling with.

Given the limited face time that we have with students, a lot of mentoring falls on the shoulders of our national partners who live in-country. But over the course of several years, Mark had built rapport and trust. It didn’t come quickly but it came. I look forward to deepening the relationships that I began this time with students, pastors, and national partners.

By the end of my time in Novi Sad, there was a lot more laughter and interaction in class, and at lunches. But there’s a long way to go. You can’t rush relationships. Sometimes you just have take the time to eat a kilo of salt together.